Rantings

Today's Thanksgiving for Americans, but not for me. I have to say I'm pretty sad about that--just because I've been known to call it "Needless Turkey Murder Day" doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it. We always go to my aunt & uncle's house, and my uncle is an amazing cook and usually has something I can eat and I just really love seeing family. I got really sad on the bike ride home. Then I fell off the bike after crashing into someone. Then I got sadder.
This isn't my country. Just because I like bikes doesn't mean I can keep pretending I belong here.

There was an ad in a right-wing newspaper where it showed a bunch of muslim women wearing the head scarf things and the caption translated approximately to "Be Like Us Or Leave." I found this incredibly hurtful, and I'm not even muslim. While I imagine it must be nice to have a strong cultural identity like the Danes (i.e., they used to all look the same, so you felt like you were at home if you were surrounded by other blonde people...), I have to say that I love that Americans can't pretend we're not a mixing pot. I think I offended my Danish teacher when I spoke up about the ad being hurtful and a little unreasonable. She explained how a muslim woman couldn't work in a department store if she wore that because "it just wasn't right." I said that I could see how certain jobs require a certain look--like you have to be pretty to be a receptionist at some places, or if you're representing people you should probably look like them. But a salesgirl? My teacher stared at me. I said, "why not? what about salesperson requires a bare head?" She just kept kind of putting her hands out, saying things like, "It just doesn't work." I said, "it's just a headscarf. There's not a law about how to dress here." Someone in class mentioned that it's an attitude thing, but I disagree. I mean, I have two facial piercings, but I don't think that means I have a rebellious or disrespectful attitude. (If you know me, you might know that I'm actually quite deferent to authority ['cept my dad, he'd probably say] and that I'm also really quite obedient.) Why do people think that appearance means something so deep about you? Sometimes I wear indian clothes just because I like them--it's not because I have an Indian-like attitude that day. (I mean, what does that even mean?)
My teacher said it's illegal to carry knives in Denmark, and some immigrants or kids of immigrants break that law. This is OF COURSE unacceptable. It's a law! It's a danger! But a headscarf?
People in class also brought up that if you went to middle eastern countries you'd have to dress like them. I thought, duh. Those countries are quite frankly a little crazy! (I know that's a huge generalization but I don't know how else to say it.) People don't go to the middle east expecting to be free to be themselves. But I'm willing to bet middle eastern immigrants come to various places of europe hoping for just that thing. for freedom from a tyrannical government, for peace, for health care, for jobs. I think it's really sad that they can't be allowed to keep something as simple as a head scarf from their past life, from their culture, from their heritage, without being blamed for making Norrebro into "Pakistan." ( I live in Norrebro. When my teacher said that I had to work to keep my mouth shut. It's not freakin Pakistan. Yeah, there's a few more falafel places, and some muslim clothing stores. That doesn't make it Pakistan.)

The point is, this isn't my country. And while we've got our own immigration issues, I think I prefer them to those of the Danes.
The point is, I want to go home.

P.S. Dostoyevsky

P.S. I just thought I would share this weird coincidence: I read Dostoyevsky's The Idiot while on my travel break. And here are the last few sentences (don't worry, it ruins nothing about the story) :

" 'Enough of being carried away, it's time to serve reason. And all this, all this abroad, all this Europe of yours, it's all just fantasy, and all of us, while we're abroad, are just a fantasy... mark my words, you'll see for yourself!' she concluded, almost angrily, as she parted from Yevgeny Pavlovich."

How strange! Is it true? Partly. It does feel like a sidenote in the novel of my life, like a quick aside that would be followed by, "but I digress.." if it were amidst the whole story of me.

I just thought that was odd. Good book, by the way.

I think it's something like 38 days left...

Things I am Not Looking Forward to at Home:
1. Driving - It's been real nice being off the roads. At school, I can manage on my bike, but not at home.
2. Siding - you know like on houses. Even the so-called "suburbs" here have respectable building materials--they even have those wavy tile roofs in the cookie cutter developments. I am dreading the proliferation of siding that dominates any given community in America.
3. Grocery shopping, American style - as in, going once every two weeks and stocking up. (I am, however, looking forward to the availability of stuff.) But I will seriously miss just picking up random ingredients on my bike ride home, so that by the time I'm back to the apartment I have a whole dinner in my bike basket, just waiting to be cooked. I will miss the fruit stands for breakfasts/lunches. I will miss being embarrassed by how many times I go to the health food store for snacks (well, sort of).
4. The Lack of Bike Lanes - Damn they make it easy. I mean, not only do I find helmets unnecessary here, I don't even usually wear my glasses. It will suck having to pay super good attention again while on my bike. Also, the hills... oh Lehigh, why must you be on a mountain...
5. Spelt bread, marzipan vegan pastries, those rum ball things, fancy chocolate... - and a few other random european things (although i'm vowing to learn to make them on my own when i get back).
6. Seeing How Everyone's Different and Their Lives went Smoothly Without Me - that's gonna suck.
7. Finishing Grad School Applications - and then actually turning them in. that will be scary as hell.
8. The Lack of Graveyard - The graveyard is by far my favorite place in Denmark, possibly the world. It is where Kierkegaard is buried, and it is just the best place I can think of. Here is a picture of me with Soren's grave.





Things I am Definitely Looking Forward to at Home:
1. Bulk foods - so i can get nuts, dried fruit, and beans without all those plastic bags!! i am so sick of that here.
2. Spices - I have been "spicing" everything with the only spice in my apartment because I wasn't going to buy spices just for a few months here. I don't even know what the spice is, I think it's oregano.
3. A BED - my situation here is like so: i sleep on cushions on a hardwood floor. there are two cushions, attached by a piece of fabric, and also attached to some plywood (onto which they fold to form a love seat during the day). the cushions are each about 2.5 feet by 4 feet. so my sleeping area is 5 feet by 4 feet, and i sleep with my head on the plywood. Suffice it to say, my back is freaking killing me and I am so so so looking forward to any and all beds in my vicinity at home.
4. Bath tubs - ahhhh to take a bath again...
5. My Family and Friends - I always used to say "i'm good at making friends" but this is apparently not true. I spend a vast amount of time alone, which is fine, but it will be nice to be around loved ones again.
6. Loose Tea!! - I'm so done with these bags!
7. SUBWOOFER - no other explanation necessary.
8. MY GUITAR AND PIANO OH GOD - I am going to hug them possibly before my cat even. i miss them so much. although, also:
9. MY CAT. - oh, noodles.

travels

Have returned from travel break.
It went like this: