Today's Thanksgiving for Americans, but not for me. I have to say I'm pretty sad about that--just because I've been known to call it "Needless Turkey Murder Day" doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it. We always go to my aunt & uncle's house, and my uncle is an amazing cook and usually has something I can eat and I just really love seeing family. I got really sad on the bike ride home. Then I fell off the bike after crashing into someone. Then I got sadder.
This isn't my country. Just because I like bikes doesn't mean I can keep pretending I belong here.
There was an ad in a right-wing newspaper where it showed a bunch of muslim women wearing the head scarf things and the caption translated approximately to "Be Like Us Or Leave." I found this incredibly hurtful, and I'm not even muslim. While I imagine it must be nice to have a strong cultural identity like the Danes (i.e., they used to all look the same, so you felt like you were at home if you were surrounded by other blonde people...), I have to say that I love that Americans can't pretend we're not a mixing pot. I think I offended my Danish teacher when I spoke up about the ad being hurtful and a little unreasonable. She explained how a muslim woman couldn't work in a department store if she wore that because "it just wasn't right." I said that I could see how certain jobs require a certain look--like you have to be pretty to be a receptionist at some places, or if you're representing people you should probably look like them. But a salesgirl? My teacher stared at me. I said, "why not? what about salesperson requires a bare head?" She just kept kind of putting her hands out, saying things like, "It just doesn't work." I said, "it's just a headscarf. There's not a law about how to dress here." Someone in class mentioned that it's an attitude thing, but I disagree. I mean, I have two facial piercings, but I don't think that means I have a rebellious or disrespectful attitude. (If you know me, you might know that I'm actually quite deferent to authority ['cept my dad, he'd probably say] and that I'm also really quite obedient.) Why do people think that appearance means something so deep about you? Sometimes I wear indian clothes just because I like them--it's not because I have an Indian-like attitude that day. (I mean, what does that even mean?)
My teacher said it's illegal to carry knives in Denmark, and some immigrants or kids of immigrants break that law. This is OF COURSE unacceptable. It's a law! It's a danger! But a headscarf?
People in class also brought up that if you went to middle eastern countries you'd have to dress like them. I thought, duh. Those countries are quite frankly a little crazy! (I know that's a huge generalization but I don't know how else to say it.) People don't go to the middle east expecting to be free to be themselves. But I'm willing to bet middle eastern immigrants come to various places of europe hoping for just that thing. for freedom from a tyrannical government, for peace, for health care, for jobs. I think it's really sad that they can't be allowed to keep something as simple as a head scarf from their past life, from their culture, from their heritage, without being blamed for making Norrebro into "Pakistan." ( I live in Norrebro. When my teacher said that I had to work to keep my mouth shut. It's not freakin Pakistan. Yeah, there's a few more falafel places, and some muslim clothing stores. That doesn't make it Pakistan.)
The point is, this isn't my country. And while we've got our own immigration issues, I think I prefer them to those of the Danes.
The point is, I want to go home.
2 comments:
"This isn't my country. Just because I like bikes doesn't mean I can keep pretending I belong here. "
I know exactly what you mean. I spent a year there while I was in high school. I remember not being happy at all. But then I came home and started going to college. In my classes we learned all about Denmark and how it was a model of sustainability and other good things. I had some level of pride having lived there and learned Danish, and those reminders, combined with the distance, had me convinced that I actually had been happy there and that Denmark was the place for me, long term.
Well, I finally went back over this last Christmas, 3 and a half years after I left. I found that I actually had been unhappy there. I love my culture, adore it. And that's not because I think it's any better than theirs (though I definitely hear you on all the openly voiced racism), it's just because it's what I know. Sure, I'd love to live in a country that prioritized bicycle lanes, had a train system that was actually useful and that charged you for bags at the grocery store, but I don't. And instead of idealizing this other place, I can try to make my own place a little better. I've decided that I'm ok with that.
Sounds like you might be home by now. I hope all is well.
Paige (found you through the DIS website - I'm thinking of going back, but just for a 3 week session)
thanks for the comment, paige. i agree about bettering one's own culture. can be more rewarding than just moving someplace.
good luck if you go back! it's not so bad there. but it's not home, is it?
Post a Comment