Today's Thanksgiving for Americans, but not for me. I have to say I'm pretty sad about that--just because I've been known to call it "Needless Turkey Murder Day" doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it. We always go to my aunt & uncle's house, and my uncle is an amazing cook and usually has something I can eat and I just really love seeing family. I got really sad on the bike ride home. Then I fell off the bike after crashing into someone. Then I got sadder.
This isn't my country. Just because I like bikes doesn't mean I can keep pretending I belong here.
There was an ad in a right-wing newspaper where it showed a bunch of muslim women wearing the head scarf things and the caption translated approximately to "Be Like Us Or Leave." I found this incredibly hurtful, and I'm not even muslim. While I imagine it must be nice to have a strong cultural identity like the Danes (i.e., they used to all look the same, so you felt like you were at home if you were surrounded by other blonde people...), I have to say that I love that Americans can't pretend we're not a mixing pot. I think I offended my Danish teacher when I spoke up about the ad being hurtful and a little unreasonable. She explained how a muslim woman couldn't work in a department store if she wore that because "it just wasn't right." I said that I could see how certain jobs require a certain look--like you have to be pretty to be a receptionist at some places, or if you're representing people you should probably look like them. But a salesgirl? My teacher stared at me. I said, "why not? what about salesperson requires a bare head?" She just kept kind of putting her hands out, saying things like, "It just doesn't work." I said, "it's just a headscarf. There's not a law about how to dress here." Someone in class mentioned that it's an attitude thing, but I disagree. I mean, I have two facial piercings, but I don't think that means I have a rebellious or disrespectful attitude. (If you know me, you might know that I'm actually quite deferent to authority ['cept my dad, he'd probably say] and that I'm also really quite obedient.) Why do people think that appearance means something so deep about you? Sometimes I wear indian clothes just because I like them--it's not because I have an Indian-like attitude that day. (I mean, what does that even mean?)
My teacher said it's illegal to carry knives in Denmark, and some immigrants or kids of immigrants break that law. This is OF COURSE unacceptable. It's a law! It's a danger! But a headscarf?
People in class also brought up that if you went to middle eastern countries you'd have to dress like them. I thought, duh. Those countries are quite frankly a little crazy! (I know that's a huge generalization but I don't know how else to say it.) People don't go to the middle east expecting to be free to be themselves. But I'm willing to bet middle eastern immigrants come to various places of europe hoping for just that thing. for freedom from a tyrannical government, for peace, for health care, for jobs. I think it's really sad that they can't be allowed to keep something as simple as a head scarf from their past life, from their culture, from their heritage, without being blamed for making Norrebro into "Pakistan." ( I live in Norrebro. When my teacher said that I had to work to keep my mouth shut. It's not freakin Pakistan. Yeah, there's a few more falafel places, and some muslim clothing stores. That doesn't make it Pakistan.)
The point is, this isn't my country. And while we've got our own immigration issues, I think I prefer them to those of the Danes.
The point is, I want to go home.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
P.S. Dostoyevsky
P.S. I just thought I would share this weird coincidence: I read Dostoyevsky's The Idiot while on my travel break. And here are the last few sentences (don't worry, it ruins nothing about the story) :
How strange! Is it true? Partly. It does feel like a sidenote in the novel of my life, like a quick aside that would be followed by, "but I digress.." if it were amidst the whole story of me.
I just thought that was odd. Good book, by the way.
" 'Enough of being carried away, it's time to serve reason. And all this, all this abroad, all this Europe of yours, it's all just fantasy, and all of us, while we're abroad, are just a fantasy... mark my words, you'll see for yourself!' she concluded, almost angrily, as she parted from Yevgeny Pavlovich."
How strange! Is it true? Partly. It does feel like a sidenote in the novel of my life, like a quick aside that would be followed by, "but I digress.." if it were amidst the whole story of me.
I just thought that was odd. Good book, by the way.
Monday, November 12, 2007
I think it's something like 38 days left...
Things I am Not Looking Forward to at Home:
1. Driving - It's been real nice being off the roads. At school, I can manage on my bike, but not at home.
2. Siding - you know like on houses. Even the so-called "suburbs" here have respectable building materials--they even have those wavy tile roofs in the cookie cutter developments. I am dreading the proliferation of siding that dominates any given community in America.
3. Grocery shopping, American style - as in, going once every two weeks and stocking up. (I am, however, looking forward to the availability of stuff.) But I will seriously miss just picking up random ingredients on my bike ride home, so that by the time I'm back to the apartment I have a whole dinner in my bike basket, just waiting to be cooked. I will miss the fruit stands for breakfasts/lunches. I will miss being embarrassed by how many times I go to the health food store for snacks (well, sort of).
4. The Lack of Bike Lanes - Damn they make it easy. I mean, not only do I find helmets unnecessary here, I don't even usually wear my glasses. It will suck having to pay super good attention again while on my bike. Also, the hills... oh Lehigh, why must you be on a mountain...
5. Spelt bread, marzipan vegan pastries, those rum ball things, fancy chocolate... - and a few other random european things (although i'm vowing to learn to make them on my own when i get back).
6. Seeing How Everyone's Different and Their Lives went Smoothly Without Me - that's gonna suck.
7. Finishing Grad School Applications - and then actually turning them in. that will be scary as hell.
8. The Lack of Graveyard - The graveyard is by far my favorite place in Denmark, possibly the world. It is where Kierkegaard is buried, and it is just the best place I can think of. Here is a picture of me with Soren's grave.
Things I am Definitely Looking Forward to at Home:
1. Bulk foods - so i can get nuts, dried fruit, and beans without all those plastic bags!! i am so sick of that here.
2. Spices - I have been "spicing" everything with the only spice in my apartment because I wasn't going to buy spices just for a few months here. I don't even know what the spice is, I think it's oregano.
3. A BED - my situation here is like so: i sleep on cushions on a hardwood floor. there are two cushions, attached by a piece of fabric, and also attached to some plywood (onto which they fold to form a love seat during the day). the cushions are each about 2.5 feet by 4 feet. so my sleeping area is 5 feet by 4 feet, and i sleep with my head on the plywood. Suffice it to say, my back is freaking killing me and I am so so so looking forward to any and all beds in my vicinity at home.
4. Bath tubs - ahhhh to take a bath again...
5. My Family and Friends - I always used to say "i'm good at making friends" but this is apparently not true. I spend a vast amount of time alone, which is fine, but it will be nice to be around loved ones again.
6. Loose Tea!! - I'm so done with these bags!
7. SUBWOOFER - no other explanation necessary.
8. MY GUITAR AND PIANO OH GOD - I am going to hug them possibly before my cat even. i miss them so much. although, also:
9. MY CAT. - oh, noodles.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Various Aspects of My (Danish) Life
I would like to introduce you to several aspects of my life in Denmark.
For one thing, I haven't been able to get my window to fully close the entire time since being here. They do a lot of construction here and it's loud and a lot of people freakin smoke, and I smell that a lot, and I just constantly battle this window until I am exhausted, trying to get this little crack to finally cease to exist. I even wrote a poem about it, it bugged me so bad... Well about five minutes ago I heard a jackhammer and said, "screw this! You will close!" And you know what?!??! It DID! This is the lack of crack in between my window and my apartment! I am so happy about this!
Next up, we have Danish food. Danes don't really have one, major, type of food that is theirs. They eat a lot of meat and stuff, but really the only Danish thing is the Smorrebrod. This means "butter bread." Not so vegan. However! This refers to any kind of sort of open-faced-sandwich dealy, usually including lots of nonvegan things, but for breakfasts there are always jams and honeys, and this is where i can participate. So allow me to show you my first ever actual Danish breakfast provided by myself (which happened about ten minutes ago). (I've had Danish breakfasts at hostels and stuff, but I hadn't actually bought my own yet. Well here we go...)
Exciting, right?!?! Jam on bread! But seriously, I'm happy that I can feel Danish in this one, small, way. They eat a ton of meat here, so generally anything "traditional" is off-limits for those of us with a cruelty-free-chromosome (copyright Envirowoman).
Lastly I want to tell you about Kai. Kai and I came together on the short, 3-day study tour we had about a month ago (wow has it really been a month?). Who is Kai, you ask? No, not some svelte Danish lover. Kai is a frog. The story goes like this: We had a little sketching contest in groups during our tour, where we had 2 hours or so to draw 4 sites or something, and basically whichever group's drawings were the best (in various ways) got a prize. Now, I'm not so goodly with the sketching. I had been feeling really bad about my sketching abilities since my Urban Design Journal course, in which I was surrounded by talented people and presented what could be called "chicken scratches" (but vegan: tofu scratches?) and felt really awful about it. Well, I found myself hoping on this silly little exercise that we would win maybe 2nd or 3rd place--because even though it was just a silly contest, I really wanted some kind of reassurance about my drawing. Well, they announced the third place: "This group answered the questions really well..." and I thought, "i know that's not us, because we didn't even answer the questions.. great well we definitely won't win if even third place answered the questions.." Then second place was announced "they didn't draw the fourth one-" (i got excited because WE didn't draw the fourth one) "-but they also answered the questions nicely." Well I've given up hope. But lo and behold... they announce first place.. "even though they didn't draw the fourth one or answer the questions, this group experimented with medium and layout..." and it was us!! And actually I was the one who experimented with medium (colored pencils, woot!) and we all had pretty cool layouts, so I even felt like I contributed to us winning, not just tagged along for the ride. So, our prizes? Randomly distributed stuffed animals. Once we unwrap them, our tour leader asked to see them again to explain to everyone who/what they were. Well, there were four--a pair each from two different television shows. One show was about how great the social welfare system is, haha, and those characters were a mouse and a girl. The other show is called Kai og Andrea, and is about these two craaazy animals (frog and parrot? parakeet? bird thing) and their craaaazy adventures. and these two are "...BEST FRIENDS!" (our tour leader smashes them together for emphasis.)
So I'd like to formally introduce you to Kai. (Although the Danes are against formal introductions. So instead I'll invite you (the internets) and Kai to a party where he doesn't know anyone, and then let him stand around feeling awkward, and no one will go talk to him, and after this happens several hundred times, consider yourself introduced. This is the Danish way. I'm not kidding.)
So when I start getting down about my drawing, I have a short conversation with Kai, and feel a little better.
Me and him are gonna enjoy some tea now. We'll catch you chumps later.
For one thing, I haven't been able to get my window to fully close the entire time since being here. They do a lot of construction here and it's loud and a lot of people freakin smoke, and I smell that a lot, and I just constantly battle this window until I am exhausted, trying to get this little crack to finally cease to exist. I even wrote a poem about it, it bugged me so bad... Well about five minutes ago I heard a jackhammer and said, "screw this! You will close!" And you know what?!??! It DID! This is the lack of crack in between my window and my apartment! I am so happy about this!
Next up, we have Danish food. Danes don't really have one, major, type of food that is theirs. They eat a lot of meat and stuff, but really the only Danish thing is the Smorrebrod. This means "butter bread." Not so vegan. However! This refers to any kind of sort of open-faced-sandwich dealy, usually including lots of nonvegan things, but for breakfasts there are always jams and honeys, and this is where i can participate. So allow me to show you my first ever actual Danish breakfast provided by myself (which happened about ten minutes ago). (I've had Danish breakfasts at hostels and stuff, but I hadn't actually bought my own yet. Well here we go...)
Exciting, right?!?! Jam on bread! But seriously, I'm happy that I can feel Danish in this one, small, way. They eat a ton of meat here, so generally anything "traditional" is off-limits for those of us with a cruelty-free-chromosome (copyright Envirowoman).
Lastly I want to tell you about Kai. Kai and I came together on the short, 3-day study tour we had about a month ago (wow has it really been a month?). Who is Kai, you ask? No, not some svelte Danish lover. Kai is a frog. The story goes like this: We had a little sketching contest in groups during our tour, where we had 2 hours or so to draw 4 sites or something, and basically whichever group's drawings were the best (in various ways) got a prize. Now, I'm not so goodly with the sketching. I had been feeling really bad about my sketching abilities since my Urban Design Journal course, in which I was surrounded by talented people and presented what could be called "chicken scratches" (but vegan: tofu scratches?) and felt really awful about it. Well, I found myself hoping on this silly little exercise that we would win maybe 2nd or 3rd place--because even though it was just a silly contest, I really wanted some kind of reassurance about my drawing. Well, they announced the third place: "This group answered the questions really well..." and I thought, "i know that's not us, because we didn't even answer the questions.. great well we definitely won't win if even third place answered the questions.." Then second place was announced "they didn't draw the fourth one-" (i got excited because WE didn't draw the fourth one) "-but they also answered the questions nicely." Well I've given up hope. But lo and behold... they announce first place.. "even though they didn't draw the fourth one or answer the questions, this group experimented with medium and layout..." and it was us!! And actually I was the one who experimented with medium (colored pencils, woot!) and we all had pretty cool layouts, so I even felt like I contributed to us winning, not just tagged along for the ride. So, our prizes? Randomly distributed stuffed animals. Once we unwrap them, our tour leader asked to see them again to explain to everyone who/what they were. Well, there were four--a pair each from two different television shows. One show was about how great the social welfare system is, haha, and those characters were a mouse and a girl. The other show is called Kai og Andrea, and is about these two craaazy animals (frog and parrot? parakeet? bird thing) and their craaaazy adventures. and these two are "...BEST FRIENDS!" (our tour leader smashes them together for emphasis.)
So I'd like to formally introduce you to Kai. (Although the Danes are against formal introductions. So instead I'll invite you (the internets) and Kai to a party where he doesn't know anyone, and then let him stand around feeling awkward, and no one will go talk to him, and after this happens several hundred times, consider yourself introduced. This is the Danish way. I'm not kidding.)
So when I start getting down about my drawing, I have a short conversation with Kai, and feel a little better.
Me and him are gonna enjoy some tea now. We'll catch you chumps later.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Free Hugs in Kobenhavn and Amsterdam
I have given two "free hugs" in my lifetime, both in major European cities (the only two major European cities I have been to). I hope that this becomes a trend, and that I am able to give one in Leeds, one in Geneva, one in London... and anywhere else I go that's considered a major European city. I would like that.
(Note: these have happened entirely by chance. the first time was just a girl walking down the street, holding the sign. i went way out of my way to hug her. the second time, in amsterdam, was a group of people. might have been a demonstration. either way, i just stumbled upon them and have therefore hugged complete strangers in completely strange cities.)
(Note: these have happened entirely by chance. the first time was just a girl walking down the street, holding the sign. i went way out of my way to hug her. the second time, in amsterdam, was a group of people. might have been a demonstration. either way, i just stumbled upon them and have therefore hugged complete strangers in completely strange cities.)
Sunday, September 30, 2007
STARS and other travel thoughts
i am blogging to stay awake!
for yes, i have returned from the land of only technically illegal marijuana. amsterdam. and i'm quite tired. thoughts on amsterdam? well, it's quite low-key, but i suspect that had something to do with the odors wafting off of every person we walked by. in any event, it was the best weekend ever!! which had pretty little to do with amsterdam and a lot more to do with Stars.
for one thing, this was the first time i have ever completely planned my own traveling. my momma does most (read: all) of it for me, which i find wonderful because it stresses me out. but you know what? i planned this trip and it was a huge success, so i'm pretty happy to know i can do that. i even drew maps about how to walk from the bus station to the venue (a rather long 3 miles) in professional ball-point pen scribbly goodness on the back of a notebook. and we got there, and we saw stars!
a word about stars: they must not be as well-known as i thought they were, because the venue was TINY. which is AMAZING. as such, we were in THE EXACT FRONT ROW. as in, leaning on the stage. and as such as such, we (my new friend nate and i) had some very personal experiences with several of the band members.
these included: (a) we were ogling amy millan backstage before they came out, going, "is that really her?!" and she waved at us! and we waved back: nate sheepish, me beaming. amy can be seen here:
(b) after the concert, the guitar player (apparently new to the band) walked right up to me and just handed me his guitar pick! i am not even kidding! he then threw a couple others into the crowd. i think he singled me out because, well.. i was sort of the only one REALLY dancing. tom and kat can attest to how much i enjoy a good dance party, especially at concerts, and they also know how much i love stars. well, i wasn't going to let an immobile crowd of dutch people stop me. so i flailed about in all my "i'myournumberonefannnn!!" glory, and i think perhaps the guitar player appreciated this. it was a small room, i don't think you could have missed me, to be honest. and the guitar player didn't. he can be seen here:
(c) i got the set list!!! woot! (well, nate got it for me.) the setlist can be seen here..
(d) the drummer came right up to me and nate and we got a fist pound!!! the drummer can be seen here..
(e) torquil was DIRECTLY in front of nate (about a foot and a half to my 2:00) so we had some quite intimate eye-contact-while-singing moments. torquil can be seen here..
so yeah, all in all they are FANTASTIC live. very dramatic and intense. torquil (who may have been a bit.. well.. let's just say he seemed to really appreciate amsterdam) was not at all what i expected. but clearly their music means the world to them. here's torquil singing to amy:
so. what else. well, on the bus ride on the way there i made an awesome friend. he was dutch, but had been living in CPH for about a year. since he was also learning danish, we discussed at length the hilarity and absurdity of the language (no offense, danes. but come on...). he said a sentence to me in danish and i understood it! and he was a vegetarian and had been to america a bit and was just generally fun to talk to so we had a lot to talk about. to give you a picture, without actually having one, let me describe him: between 25 and 40 (i really have no idea), with no hair (shaved? bald?) except for 4-5 dreadlocks from the nape of his neck down to his waist, this guy is wearing a black trench coat over a tshirt with a scary skull on it. and he sleeps by leaning his forehead on the seat in front of him. we exchanged a hug when we parted ways. i think he's my new best friend. it's sort of my first extended experience with conversing with a european (as sad as that is. my main exchanges are with the man who sells me the vegan pastries almost every day. and the danish consists of him saying like two words to me and me saying "what" and him laughing because he knows by now that i don't speak danish). anyway, so richard (that's my friend) and i had great conversation and he was quite nice to me. that made the first bus ride a lot more bearable, i must say.
a word about why this was such a great weekend for me. i mean, concerts are some of the most fun i can have, to be honest, so that's no surprise. but i realized, also, this was the most time i've spent just enjoying the present. if you don't know me well, i do not appreciate the moment very much at all. i'm always looking forward to other things. and i have to admit, i spend a LOT of time here going, "oh this is cool, i can't wait to go home and email my friends about it." and not really appreciating the moment. i think the times i've appreciated so far have been (a) the last night of bornholm, dancing on a rock by the seaside by moonlight, (b) all times in the graveyard, i love love love the graveyard (pics to be taken soonish)... oh my gosh is that it? that might be it. you know, DIS gave us the advice, "don't stay in your room talking to your friends on Instant Messenger all the time." and everytime i get on the computer, i think "am i spending too much time doing this?" and the answer is a resounding "probably." but i can't help it, i miss my friends, and i like telling them about my experiences. but anyway, it does make it so that i'm always looking forward to telling them about what's happening right now, instead of enjoying what's happening right now.
the moral of this story is that this weekend has been just about enjoying the hell out of one of my favorite bands--going to ridiculous length and expense to see them, challenging me to plan and execute the weekend, and not letting anything get me down. so, yes i reeked of smoke, yes, i spent 26 of the last 40 hours on a bus, but the whole time, all i could think was, 'HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWESOME.'
i think that's a big success for me.
so i think i'll end on that. there's more to say, but it can wait.
for yes, i have returned from the land of only technically illegal marijuana. amsterdam. and i'm quite tired. thoughts on amsterdam? well, it's quite low-key, but i suspect that had something to do with the odors wafting off of every person we walked by. in any event, it was the best weekend ever!! which had pretty little to do with amsterdam and a lot more to do with Stars.
for one thing, this was the first time i have ever completely planned my own traveling. my momma does most (read: all) of it for me, which i find wonderful because it stresses me out. but you know what? i planned this trip and it was a huge success, so i'm pretty happy to know i can do that. i even drew maps about how to walk from the bus station to the venue (a rather long 3 miles) in professional ball-point pen scribbly goodness on the back of a notebook. and we got there, and we saw stars!
a word about stars: they must not be as well-known as i thought they were, because the venue was TINY. which is AMAZING. as such, we were in THE EXACT FRONT ROW. as in, leaning on the stage. and as such as such, we (my new friend nate and i) had some very personal experiences with several of the band members.
these included: (a) we were ogling amy millan backstage before they came out, going, "is that really her?!" and she waved at us! and we waved back: nate sheepish, me beaming. amy can be seen here:
(b) after the concert, the guitar player (apparently new to the band) walked right up to me and just handed me his guitar pick! i am not even kidding! he then threw a couple others into the crowd. i think he singled me out because, well.. i was sort of the only one REALLY dancing. tom and kat can attest to how much i enjoy a good dance party, especially at concerts, and they also know how much i love stars. well, i wasn't going to let an immobile crowd of dutch people stop me. so i flailed about in all my "i'myournumberonefannnn!!" glory, and i think perhaps the guitar player appreciated this. it was a small room, i don't think you could have missed me, to be honest. and the guitar player didn't. he can be seen here:
(c) i got the set list!!! woot! (well, nate got it for me.) the setlist can be seen here..
(d) the drummer came right up to me and nate and we got a fist pound!!! the drummer can be seen here..
(e) torquil was DIRECTLY in front of nate (about a foot and a half to my 2:00) so we had some quite intimate eye-contact-while-singing moments. torquil can be seen here..
so yeah, all in all they are FANTASTIC live. very dramatic and intense. torquil (who may have been a bit.. well.. let's just say he seemed to really appreciate amsterdam) was not at all what i expected. but clearly their music means the world to them. here's torquil singing to amy:
so. what else. well, on the bus ride on the way there i made an awesome friend. he was dutch, but had been living in CPH for about a year. since he was also learning danish, we discussed at length the hilarity and absurdity of the language (no offense, danes. but come on...). he said a sentence to me in danish and i understood it! and he was a vegetarian and had been to america a bit and was just generally fun to talk to so we had a lot to talk about. to give you a picture, without actually having one, let me describe him: between 25 and 40 (i really have no idea), with no hair (shaved? bald?) except for 4-5 dreadlocks from the nape of his neck down to his waist, this guy is wearing a black trench coat over a tshirt with a scary skull on it. and he sleeps by leaning his forehead on the seat in front of him. we exchanged a hug when we parted ways. i think he's my new best friend. it's sort of my first extended experience with conversing with a european (as sad as that is. my main exchanges are with the man who sells me the vegan pastries almost every day. and the danish consists of him saying like two words to me and me saying "what" and him laughing because he knows by now that i don't speak danish). anyway, so richard (that's my friend) and i had great conversation and he was quite nice to me. that made the first bus ride a lot more bearable, i must say.
a word about why this was such a great weekend for me. i mean, concerts are some of the most fun i can have, to be honest, so that's no surprise. but i realized, also, this was the most time i've spent just enjoying the present. if you don't know me well, i do not appreciate the moment very much at all. i'm always looking forward to other things. and i have to admit, i spend a LOT of time here going, "oh this is cool, i can't wait to go home and email my friends about it." and not really appreciating the moment. i think the times i've appreciated so far have been (a) the last night of bornholm, dancing on a rock by the seaside by moonlight, (b) all times in the graveyard, i love love love the graveyard (pics to be taken soonish)... oh my gosh is that it? that might be it. you know, DIS gave us the advice, "don't stay in your room talking to your friends on Instant Messenger all the time." and everytime i get on the computer, i think "am i spending too much time doing this?" and the answer is a resounding "probably." but i can't help it, i miss my friends, and i like telling them about my experiences. but anyway, it does make it so that i'm always looking forward to telling them about what's happening right now, instead of enjoying what's happening right now.
the moral of this story is that this weekend has been just about enjoying the hell out of one of my favorite bands--going to ridiculous length and expense to see them, challenging me to plan and execute the weekend, and not letting anything get me down. so, yes i reeked of smoke, yes, i spent 26 of the last 40 hours on a bus, but the whole time, all i could think was, 'HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWESOME.'
i think that's a big success for me.
so i think i'll end on that. there's more to say, but it can wait.
Friday, September 28, 2007
journeying onward...
analog post to last time!
for tonight, i am getting on a bus and i will wake up (read: roll over for the umpteenth time and wish i had slept) in amsterdam!
that's right, hayley b in amsterdam. to those who know me, this may seem like an oxymoron. but i've been told the jewelry is beautiful... so i plan on checking that out. ha.
the reason i am going, however, is for a CONCERT! to see STARS! play! which is very exciting!
moving on to the past: bornholm is a beautiful place. a little slice of adorable tranquil island life. on saturday i biked 60 kilometers! unfortunately, since i had been sick, i decided i should stay in on sunday and try to just relax and not push myself because i didn't want to get worse. (in case you're keeping track, this cold is STILL with me. it's nearly gone, really very close, but it's like hanging onto the cliff of my immune system with one, tiny, claw.) even though i didn't get to bike as much as i'd like to, the weekend was still quite nice. i had some quality alone time, wrote a song about bornholm (in keeping with my theme of writing a song when i go on trips [wrote one about Jylland] [does this mean i should write one about amsterdam?]), but also made some friends and had some good quality social interaction. which, admittedly, i haven't really been having very much of lately. so it was a good, balanced weekend.
wasn't so easy being vegan. the hostel food was not so goodly. but as always, i was resourceful and it was fine.
what else? oh yeah.
I would like to offer a Public Apology. (This Public Apology brought to you by the letter C and the number 4.)
I would like to apologize to Hayley's Sense of Direction. Hayley's Sense of Direction, you and I have not had such a goodly relationship. We've had our ups and downs, but let's face it: I used to make fun of you a lot. I used to tell people bad stories about you.
But, Hayley's Sense of Direction, I think you've been misunderstood all this time. I think you were never meant to be relied upon in a chunk of metal (read: car) hurtling at 60 mph down a highway. After all, your name isn't Hayley's Find Her Way Around Highways. I think your domain is slower, more grounded: on foot, or bike. Hayley's Sense of Direction, I feel I should tell you: you've been downright thriving in this domain.
Hayley's Sense of Direction, you have not let me down once since coming to this new city, as new to you as me. In fact, you have gotten me out of some sticky situations. Was it not you who found several routes to the Health Food Store, when another way was blocked? Was it not you, Hayley's Sense of Direction, who navigated throngs of people along the windy confusing pedestrian streets to avoid the traffic of the more straight-forward roads? And was it not you who, when I was silly enough to miss all the bridges over the canals near my apartment, immediately located us on a map in Østerbro, found a Fair Trade Shop, and got us home, almost sans map? Hayley's Sense of Direction, you are the most under-appreciated Sense in the land of Hayley. I offer apologies for so long dissing you behind your metaphorical back. I had never even given you a chance.
And now, Hayley's Sense of Direction, I rely on you regularly. And you, nonjudgmental, never holding a grudge, ever mature... you never let me down. For this I thank you, Hayley's Sense of Direction.
and with that...
for tonight, i am getting on a bus and i will wake up (read: roll over for the umpteenth time and wish i had slept) in amsterdam!
that's right, hayley b in amsterdam. to those who know me, this may seem like an oxymoron. but i've been told the jewelry is beautiful... so i plan on checking that out. ha.
the reason i am going, however, is for a CONCERT! to see STARS! play! which is very exciting!
moving on to the past: bornholm is a beautiful place. a little slice of adorable tranquil island life. on saturday i biked 60 kilometers! unfortunately, since i had been sick, i decided i should stay in on sunday and try to just relax and not push myself because i didn't want to get worse. (in case you're keeping track, this cold is STILL with me. it's nearly gone, really very close, but it's like hanging onto the cliff of my immune system with one, tiny, claw.) even though i didn't get to bike as much as i'd like to, the weekend was still quite nice. i had some quality alone time, wrote a song about bornholm (in keeping with my theme of writing a song when i go on trips [wrote one about Jylland] [does this mean i should write one about amsterdam?]), but also made some friends and had some good quality social interaction. which, admittedly, i haven't really been having very much of lately. so it was a good, balanced weekend.
wasn't so easy being vegan. the hostel food was not so goodly. but as always, i was resourceful and it was fine.
what else? oh yeah.
I would like to offer a Public Apology. (This Public Apology brought to you by the letter C and the number 4.)
I would like to apologize to Hayley's Sense of Direction. Hayley's Sense of Direction, you and I have not had such a goodly relationship. We've had our ups and downs, but let's face it: I used to make fun of you a lot. I used to tell people bad stories about you.
But, Hayley's Sense of Direction, I think you've been misunderstood all this time. I think you were never meant to be relied upon in a chunk of metal (read: car) hurtling at 60 mph down a highway. After all, your name isn't Hayley's Find Her Way Around Highways. I think your domain is slower, more grounded: on foot, or bike. Hayley's Sense of Direction, I feel I should tell you: you've been downright thriving in this domain.
Hayley's Sense of Direction, you have not let me down once since coming to this new city, as new to you as me. In fact, you have gotten me out of some sticky situations. Was it not you who found several routes to the Health Food Store, when another way was blocked? Was it not you, Hayley's Sense of Direction, who navigated throngs of people along the windy confusing pedestrian streets to avoid the traffic of the more straight-forward roads? And was it not you who, when I was silly enough to miss all the bridges over the canals near my apartment, immediately located us on a map in Østerbro, found a Fair Trade Shop, and got us home, almost sans map? Hayley's Sense of Direction, you are the most under-appreciated Sense in the land of Hayley. I offer apologies for so long dissing you behind your metaphorical back. I had never even given you a chance.
And now, Hayley's Sense of Direction, I rely on you regularly. And you, nonjudgmental, never holding a grudge, ever mature... you never let me down. For this I thank you, Hayley's Sense of Direction.
and with that...
Friday, September 21, 2007
across the bridge and across the mountains, threw a nickel in the fountain
so i am leaving in 3 hours to meet buses full of 97 other people, and all together we will take an overnight ferry to the island of bornholm (sleeping on the floor of a ferry...) so that we can bike around all weekend.
so that'll happen. i'd be significantly more excited (read: at all) if i wasn't deathly ill. okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but i've been fighting a stupid cold/cough/other weird complications for a week and i just.. could use some tea and bed. but i figure, at least this is an excuse to not do any homework all weekend.. which is actually terrible because i feel behind in classes. although i've heard that other people never even read the homework for classes anyway. can't help it, i read the syllabus ahead of time and try to do all my homework. apparently this is a unique phenomenon. whatever.
an interesting difference between danes and americans arises here. in denmark, your education is free, and you even receive a stipend once you're in college to help cover living expenses. obviously, as most of you readers know (since i'm pretty sure the readership here consists of my mom, kat, maybe tom(s), and sometimes sam), that we pay an exorbitant* amount of money to go to college. i believe the current tuition at lehigh is around 45,000 USD a year. well, my Sustainable By Design (henceforth referred to as SbD) prof said something about, "normally, we assign reading and assume you do it. but since teaching american students, we have discovered that sometimes you just don't.. we don't know why. so i will discuss the reading in class to make sure you have been doing it." i realized, i think this is because of the attitude towards education developed because of money. in denmark, since you're being paid to go to school, it's like, of COURSE you'll do the reading! your education is a privilege and you are awfully lucky to live in a country that will have people assign you reading for FREE. in america, we think, "i'm paying so much for this! i DEMAND to be smarter, preferably nowish! after all, i'm paying this money, i shouldn't have to do much more work than that... "
so that's my opinion anyway. and of course it's a huge generalization, as i hope to be an example of, since i try to do all my reading. but i have noticed that most dis students laugh in the face of homework reading. curious.
anywho, i hope the shape of my goneness isn't flairing up anew**, friends at home.
have a great weekend. i'll get back to you on how mine went, what with the biking and the sick and the hostel and the whether-or-not-they-can-handle-a-vegan.
h.
*oh my gosh, i think i made up another word. it's like how i knew the word "engulf" but i also made up a word "enfulge" when i was very little that was similar but not quite the same, and i grew up thinking it was a word. i knew the word "exorbitant" but i made up a similar word "absorbitant" that is apparently not a word.. i need to stop doing that. but it's not my fault, my theory is that i read so much as a kid and i was reading pretty hard stuff, so no one was using those types of words around me when i was that little, so i had to make up a lot of pronunciations and whatnot on my own. (hence: archives pronounced "ar-CH-ive", etc. can you blame me? that's what it looks like!) however, this doesn't exactly explain creating spinoff words and then convincing myself they exist...
**if you get that reference, you get Hayley Hero points. but only if you identify it to me, and don't google it. although googling isn't that helpful anyway with this.
so that'll happen. i'd be significantly more excited (read: at all) if i wasn't deathly ill. okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but i've been fighting a stupid cold/cough/other weird complications for a week and i just.. could use some tea and bed. but i figure, at least this is an excuse to not do any homework all weekend.. which is actually terrible because i feel behind in classes. although i've heard that other people never even read the homework for classes anyway. can't help it, i read the syllabus ahead of time and try to do all my homework. apparently this is a unique phenomenon. whatever.
an interesting difference between danes and americans arises here. in denmark, your education is free, and you even receive a stipend once you're in college to help cover living expenses. obviously, as most of you readers know (since i'm pretty sure the readership here consists of my mom, kat, maybe tom(s), and sometimes sam), that we pay an exorbitant* amount of money to go to college. i believe the current tuition at lehigh is around 45,000 USD a year. well, my Sustainable By Design (henceforth referred to as SbD) prof said something about, "normally, we assign reading and assume you do it. but since teaching american students, we have discovered that sometimes you just don't.. we don't know why. so i will discuss the reading in class to make sure you have been doing it." i realized, i think this is because of the attitude towards education developed because of money. in denmark, since you're being paid to go to school, it's like, of COURSE you'll do the reading! your education is a privilege and you are awfully lucky to live in a country that will have people assign you reading for FREE. in america, we think, "i'm paying so much for this! i DEMAND to be smarter, preferably nowish! after all, i'm paying this money, i shouldn't have to do much more work than that... "
so that's my opinion anyway. and of course it's a huge generalization, as i hope to be an example of, since i try to do all my reading. but i have noticed that most dis students laugh in the face of homework reading. curious.
anywho, i hope the shape of my goneness isn't flairing up anew**, friends at home.
have a great weekend. i'll get back to you on how mine went, what with the biking and the sick and the hostel and the whether-or-not-they-can-handle-a-vegan.
h.
*oh my gosh, i think i made up another word. it's like how i knew the word "engulf" but i also made up a word "enfulge" when i was very little that was similar but not quite the same, and i grew up thinking it was a word. i knew the word "exorbitant" but i made up a similar word "absorbitant" that is apparently not a word.. i need to stop doing that. but it's not my fault, my theory is that i read so much as a kid and i was reading pretty hard stuff, so no one was using those types of words around me when i was that little, so i had to make up a lot of pronunciations and whatnot on my own. (hence: archives pronounced "ar-CH-ive", etc. can you blame me? that's what it looks like!) however, this doesn't exactly explain creating spinoff words and then convincing myself they exist...
**if you get that reference, you get Hayley Hero points. but only if you identify it to me, and don't google it. although googling isn't that helpful anyway with this.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
oh my god oh my god! i commented on EnviroWoman's blog post entitled "the RULES" and she commented back! and she said i made a wonderful post! this is so exciting! go look! (under links, click her blog, then click to see the comments.)
i feel touched by a famous person or something. i'll never wash my keyboard again!
i feel touched by a famous person or something. i'll never wash my keyboard again!
Monday, September 17, 2007
guilt
let's look at the toll on the environment taken by my being in Denmark.
First we have the things I bought exclusively for this trip. This includes cliff bars (plastic wrappers = won't biodegrade for a long long time), little travel bags (who knows what they're made of), a passport and case (plastic in there), a pack (although I wanted one of these anyway), a water bladder (a ton of freakin plastic, and no real alternative), umbrella (plastic handle), raincoat ( i love it so much though, and it was quite necessary, and people keep trying to give me plastic bag ponchos so at least i can avoid those), a computer case, a nightgown (non fair trade. well, nothing so far was i don't think :( ), a sleeping bag (although that was also something i wanted for backpacking anyway), hostel sheets (yeah cloth packaging!), a travel book, new portable speakers bc mine were blown (fucking all plastic), a bajillion art supplies that they required us to bring (SO MUCH PLASTIC. SO MUCH.), i bought a bike before coming here from a summer student (at least it's second hand), a pair of shoes (luckily mostly recycled rubber, all vegan, etc, so that's good but still, they had to be made), american apparel scarf and socks (fair trade! woot! but had to be shipped from CA)...
now let's look at what i've bought here that would have been different had i been in the US- nuts in bags for snacks while traveling since i knew (and was right) that they wouldn't really know what to do with a vegan (I CAN'T FIND BULK FOODS HERE. THAT IS NOT DONE IN DENMARK APPARENTLY. HOW DOES ONE GET NUTS?!), rice and lentils in bags because i just needed some backup stuff like that (bought right when i got here before i learned food names--i had to get what i recognized), bread in bags (i can't find the ingredients to make it myself :( nor do i really have the room in the kitchen to do it), some earrings, 2 of the 3 of which were fair trade (woot!), envelopes wrapped in plastic to send letters to the US, stamps (goddess knows what's in there), various other food items in plastic (although i really try, i do the best i can), plastic ties to fix the basket on my bike, postcards (all separate, no wrappers -woot!), detergent (omg i love this brand, cardboard box and even the scoop is cardboard! it's called ecover), dish soap (plastic bottle ughh!), yarn (unfortunately not animal free. but at least it's norweigan, not australian--australia is known for the bad animal treatment. hopefully norway's better), lots of chocolate (i'm learning and memorizing which brands have stupid sneaky plastic wrappers on the inside), VEGAN NUTELLA IN A GLASS JAR (but with a plastic lid, but still, how amazing is that), almost every day i buy soya milk in tiny cartons, but they have plastic straws (plus, it might be aspetic packaging carton--might have a layer of plastic)...
ALL OF THESE WOULD BE DIFFERENT IN THE U.S. BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE THINGS THAT DON'T COME IN PLASTIC. I'D BUY BULK FOODS AT WEGS, IN MY CLOTH NAPKINS, AND I'D HAVE A SINK WHERE I COULD JUST USE BRONNERS TO WASH EVERYTHING. VEGAN NUTELLA WOULD NOT EVEN BE AN OPTION. et cetera.
not to mention of course: the car ride from my home to baltimore, the plane ride from baltimore to iceland, the plane ride from iceland to copenhagen, the bus from the airport to the orientation, the taxi from orientation to home (NONE OF WHICH ARE EVEN HYBRIDS OR ELECTRIC ANYTHING. JUST PLAIN BAD), the ferry ride this past weekend, the buses every single time we take a field trip..
and now that you think about that, let's consider a world in which people didn't travel at the drop of a hat like they do now. such things as DIS (my program) wouldn't exist. that means no 24-hour computer labs sucking electricity. no enormous amounts of time spent with buses idling, waiting for students. maybe -gasp- no airplanes! no airports! no airport shit food!
now think about all those things i named. every single one was produced, somewhere, (usually not around here). it was in a factory, a factory which emitted all kinds of shit into the atmosphere, and still does, continuously. it may have been made by child slaves or people barely being paid (although hopefully not, i didn't buy almost any clothes, just one nightgown and one shirt). then it was probably packaged in some way, and transported to wherever i got it from. that means trucks and ships and airplanes just FULL of this stuff, burning oil, getting it to me.
now. is it worth it? that's the question. giving my at least small understanding of this toll on the environment, why did i choose to do it? well, i understand that sometimes we make sacrifices for our education (although it's not really ME making the sacrifice, is it? besides the guilt, it's the world that is suffering, not me.) and i am trying to learn a lot that will help me get into grad school and get a job where i can HELP the environment. (landscape architecture.) so it's like, if i do things like this that help me look like a better student, i can get a better job and have more power to make decisions about the environment.
speaking of which, do you know, reader, what my goal is now? i want to specialize in environmental consulting. that means, i actually get to go the woods you want to build in and say, "no. you can only build this five feet over here, but don't touch these woods. they're too important." i think that if i could get that job, i could do a LOT of good.
so that's why i'm doing this. that's why i bought ALL that freakin plastic even though i know it will all end up in a landfill and take thousands of years to biodegrade. because i think i can do more to counteract that later in life if i do this now.
take it or leave it. am i just making excuses? maybe.
that's all.
edit: at least denmark has a lot of windmills. on that subject, there's this.
First we have the things I bought exclusively for this trip. This includes cliff bars (plastic wrappers = won't biodegrade for a long long time), little travel bags (who knows what they're made of), a passport and case (plastic in there), a pack (although I wanted one of these anyway), a water bladder (a ton of freakin plastic, and no real alternative), umbrella (plastic handle), raincoat ( i love it so much though, and it was quite necessary, and people keep trying to give me plastic bag ponchos so at least i can avoid those), a computer case, a nightgown (non fair trade. well, nothing so far was i don't think :( ), a sleeping bag (although that was also something i wanted for backpacking anyway), hostel sheets (yeah cloth packaging!), a travel book, new portable speakers bc mine were blown (fucking all plastic), a bajillion art supplies that they required us to bring (SO MUCH PLASTIC. SO MUCH.), i bought a bike before coming here from a summer student (at least it's second hand), a pair of shoes (luckily mostly recycled rubber, all vegan, etc, so that's good but still, they had to be made), american apparel scarf and socks (fair trade! woot! but had to be shipped from CA)...
now let's look at what i've bought here that would have been different had i been in the US- nuts in bags for snacks while traveling since i knew (and was right) that they wouldn't really know what to do with a vegan (I CAN'T FIND BULK FOODS HERE. THAT IS NOT DONE IN DENMARK APPARENTLY. HOW DOES ONE GET NUTS?!), rice and lentils in bags because i just needed some backup stuff like that (bought right when i got here before i learned food names--i had to get what i recognized), bread in bags (i can't find the ingredients to make it myself :( nor do i really have the room in the kitchen to do it), some earrings, 2 of the 3 of which were fair trade (woot!), envelopes wrapped in plastic to send letters to the US, stamps (goddess knows what's in there), various other food items in plastic (although i really try, i do the best i can), plastic ties to fix the basket on my bike, postcards (all separate, no wrappers -woot!), detergent (omg i love this brand, cardboard box and even the scoop is cardboard! it's called ecover), dish soap (plastic bottle ughh!), yarn (unfortunately not animal free. but at least it's norweigan, not australian--australia is known for the bad animal treatment. hopefully norway's better), lots of chocolate (i'm learning and memorizing which brands have stupid sneaky plastic wrappers on the inside), VEGAN NUTELLA IN A GLASS JAR (but with a plastic lid, but still, how amazing is that), almost every day i buy soya milk in tiny cartons, but they have plastic straws (plus, it might be aspetic packaging carton--might have a layer of plastic)...
ALL OF THESE WOULD BE DIFFERENT IN THE U.S. BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE THINGS THAT DON'T COME IN PLASTIC. I'D BUY BULK FOODS AT WEGS, IN MY CLOTH NAPKINS, AND I'D HAVE A SINK WHERE I COULD JUST USE BRONNERS TO WASH EVERYTHING. VEGAN NUTELLA WOULD NOT EVEN BE AN OPTION. et cetera.
not to mention of course: the car ride from my home to baltimore, the plane ride from baltimore to iceland, the plane ride from iceland to copenhagen, the bus from the airport to the orientation, the taxi from orientation to home (NONE OF WHICH ARE EVEN HYBRIDS OR ELECTRIC ANYTHING. JUST PLAIN BAD), the ferry ride this past weekend, the buses every single time we take a field trip..
and now that you think about that, let's consider a world in which people didn't travel at the drop of a hat like they do now. such things as DIS (my program) wouldn't exist. that means no 24-hour computer labs sucking electricity. no enormous amounts of time spent with buses idling, waiting for students. maybe -gasp- no airplanes! no airports! no airport shit food!
now think about all those things i named. every single one was produced, somewhere, (usually not around here). it was in a factory, a factory which emitted all kinds of shit into the atmosphere, and still does, continuously. it may have been made by child slaves or people barely being paid (although hopefully not, i didn't buy almost any clothes, just one nightgown and one shirt). then it was probably packaged in some way, and transported to wherever i got it from. that means trucks and ships and airplanes just FULL of this stuff, burning oil, getting it to me.
now. is it worth it? that's the question. giving my at least small understanding of this toll on the environment, why did i choose to do it? well, i understand that sometimes we make sacrifices for our education (although it's not really ME making the sacrifice, is it? besides the guilt, it's the world that is suffering, not me.) and i am trying to learn a lot that will help me get into grad school and get a job where i can HELP the environment. (landscape architecture.) so it's like, if i do things like this that help me look like a better student, i can get a better job and have more power to make decisions about the environment.
speaking of which, do you know, reader, what my goal is now? i want to specialize in environmental consulting. that means, i actually get to go the woods you want to build in and say, "no. you can only build this five feet over here, but don't touch these woods. they're too important." i think that if i could get that job, i could do a LOT of good.
so that's why i'm doing this. that's why i bought ALL that freakin plastic even though i know it will all end up in a landfill and take thousands of years to biodegrade. because i think i can do more to counteract that later in life if i do this now.
take it or leave it. am i just making excuses? maybe.
that's all.
edit: at least denmark has a lot of windmills. on that subject, there's this.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
mah nutrientz
so, i have mostly given up on nutrition for the time being.
see, i can read ingredients (mostly... [cringes remembering the cheese-including focaccia incident]..) but they do not have a little food guide pyramid or 2000 calorie diet explanations..
there is some sort of nutrition.. panel.. list. but i can't figure it out.
other, related things:
1.i need to figure out what the danish is for "refrigerate after opening." i feel this to be important.
2. also, a lot of things, especially at specialty stores, have lots of other languages on them, sometimes danish is not even included. there's a lot of german. occasionally english. so even if i were to learn the nutritional stuff in danish, it doesn't always help. also, i don't even know what is and is not danish sometimes. there's a D above German and a GB above english (that one makes sense, great britain). (but i guess german in german starts with a D?)
3. fuckin metric system. i don't know grams as serving sizes. i was never even clear in the US as to how many pints to a gallon or whatever. (this should probably be filed under "holy crap where have you been in the world," next to finding out that "p.o." stood for "post office" a few years back. and recently learning of what is known as "hard water.")
speaking of hard water.
HA. i am not insane.
i had been complaining about my hair feeling sticky and weird, and of course mason and my mom both blamed bronners soap for being inappropriate for hair. FALSE. i bought stupid expensive shampoo and conditioner (in plastic of course :( ) to make my hair unsticky, but it was still sticky and weird-feeling! and i hated it! and i asked around and at first got some weird looks but then on tuesday i had about three people finally agree with me--"oh my god yeah my host dad has been bringing me special shampoo but it's not working!"--and i found out that the water here is known as "hard."
apparently the rest of the world is familiar with the term. i was not. hard water apparently has more calcium? due to more limestone in the ground? and is lower pH because of this? in any event, it IS different and DOES do weird things to hair.
so, i chopped mine off. i figured, the less hair there is on me, the less stickiness i will feel. also, it's very annoying having hair when you bike everywhere, it's windy, rainy, gets messed up, bla bla.
so i went into the bathroom two nights ago and went to town. it's actually shorter than that time i chopped it all off, last .. februaryish.
but i've received compliments about my hair-cutting abilities! i don't really care, i didn't expect it to be even or anything. but apparently it mostly is. i chopped the hell out of it man. twas pretty fun.
i'll post a picture so you can judge for yourself. should i drop out of architecture school to become a stylist? keep in mind, this pic was taken about fourteen seconds before typing this sentence, and i've been out all day on a study tour in the intense intense wind. so i'm a bit.. wind-swept.
edit: while on the subject of water, i also have a problem with danish air. maybe it's biking in the wind so much, but i have lately been confusing my own skin with a hayley-shaped piece of sandpaper. i dislike unnecessary things like perfume and whatnot, but lotion may suddenly be removed from that list. i'm afraid i might crack open..
anywho that's all for now. gotsta pack for my study tour to western denmark! three days on buses and in hostels.. should be an experience. thank stars for cliff bars (yeah rhyme)! who knows how it's going to be to be vegan out there..
oh yeah i'm also uploading a video showing the result of my fight with the european can opener. the first fight, not narrated, was figuring out which utensil in the drawer was a can opener. i figured, it had to be there. i tried like eight different bottle openers. finally found it, and you can see the results...
see, i can read ingredients (mostly... [cringes remembering the cheese-including focaccia incident]..) but they do not have a little food guide pyramid or 2000 calorie diet explanations..
there is some sort of nutrition.. panel.. list. but i can't figure it out.
other, related things:
1.i need to figure out what the danish is for "refrigerate after opening." i feel this to be important.
2. also, a lot of things, especially at specialty stores, have lots of other languages on them, sometimes danish is not even included. there's a lot of german. occasionally english. so even if i were to learn the nutritional stuff in danish, it doesn't always help. also, i don't even know what is and is not danish sometimes. there's a D above German and a GB above english (that one makes sense, great britain). (but i guess german in german starts with a D?)
3. fuckin metric system. i don't know grams as serving sizes. i was never even clear in the US as to how many pints to a gallon or whatever. (this should probably be filed under "holy crap where have you been in the world," next to finding out that "p.o." stood for "post office" a few years back. and recently learning of what is known as "hard water.")
speaking of hard water.
HA. i am not insane.
i had been complaining about my hair feeling sticky and weird, and of course mason and my mom both blamed bronners soap for being inappropriate for hair. FALSE. i bought stupid expensive shampoo and conditioner (in plastic of course :( ) to make my hair unsticky, but it was still sticky and weird-feeling! and i hated it! and i asked around and at first got some weird looks but then on tuesday i had about three people finally agree with me--"oh my god yeah my host dad has been bringing me special shampoo but it's not working!"--and i found out that the water here is known as "hard."
apparently the rest of the world is familiar with the term. i was not. hard water apparently has more calcium? due to more limestone in the ground? and is lower pH because of this? in any event, it IS different and DOES do weird things to hair.
so, i chopped mine off. i figured, the less hair there is on me, the less stickiness i will feel. also, it's very annoying having hair when you bike everywhere, it's windy, rainy, gets messed up, bla bla.
so i went into the bathroom two nights ago and went to town. it's actually shorter than that time i chopped it all off, last .. februaryish.
but i've received compliments about my hair-cutting abilities! i don't really care, i didn't expect it to be even or anything. but apparently it mostly is. i chopped the hell out of it man. twas pretty fun.
i'll post a picture so you can judge for yourself. should i drop out of architecture school to become a stylist? keep in mind, this pic was taken about fourteen seconds before typing this sentence, and i've been out all day on a study tour in the intense intense wind. so i'm a bit.. wind-swept.
edit: while on the subject of water, i also have a problem with danish air. maybe it's biking in the wind so much, but i have lately been confusing my own skin with a hayley-shaped piece of sandpaper. i dislike unnecessary things like perfume and whatnot, but lotion may suddenly be removed from that list. i'm afraid i might crack open..
anywho that's all for now. gotsta pack for my study tour to western denmark! three days on buses and in hostels.. should be an experience. thank stars for cliff bars (yeah rhyme)! who knows how it's going to be to be vegan out there..
oh yeah i'm also uploading a video showing the result of my fight with the european can opener. the first fight, not narrated, was figuring out which utensil in the drawer was a can opener. i figured, it had to be there. i tried like eight different bottle openers. finally found it, and you can see the results...
Thursday, September 6, 2007
receipts and politics
hmmm...
so i've noticed that i'm usually so flummoxed about being in denmark that when i shop i can't just browse around looking inquisitive. i feel the need to get my shit and get out. i recently decided to start looking at my receipts, later, when i get home, to check out how i did. not that i DON'T look at prices while i'm in the store, but if i see something that looks vaguely like what i need i just kinda get it.
the results?
here's my receipt from my trip to the store today:
Smoothie 1 L 39,75
Dr. Shaer Penne 35,00
Asparges 20,00
Oatly Imad 11,00
Urtekram Olie 54,00
translation:
juice, which i needed for vitamin C because i've been sneezing lately and not eating any citrus: $7.20 !!!!
gluten free penne because it was the only kind in a nonplastic box with the smallest plastic window i saw: $6.30 !!!!
some asparagus, about three or four dinners worth: $3.60 (phew)
a tiny tiny thing of oat milk, just to try: $2.00 (fine)
olive oil, organic: $9.80 (olive oil's always expensive)
they don't drink juice here the way we americans do at breakfast, i tell you what. you don't really see orange juice in cartons. which is fine with me except for when i need to up my vitC intake.
specialty foods are definitely more expensive. it doesn't help that i'm eating my weight in carbs for no reason every day. what can i say? european bread/honey/cookies/chocolate is delicious.
also, p.s. about this, you have to pay for bags here! HA.
in arguably wildly more important news, copenhagen is a bit.. politically charged at the moment. that's funny to say because i get the feeling about 80% of danes are sitting quietly around drinking beers wondering why all this shit is going on. but at the moment there are several rather wild happenings occurring in the area.
the first and second are in regards to the youth house being torn down about six months ago. on the six-month anniversary date, there were some night riots right near my house (although i slept quietly through them)-- some windows broken in, some tear gas dispersed, some firey blockades of furniture or something.. i was invited to this riot, incidentally, by some self-proclaimed "norrepunks" (we live in norrebro) on a train. i think it got pretty violent. secondly, today, there were supposedly peaceful "protests" although everyone's calling them riots again. i don't know much about it except that we were told to be careful and also, it was really loud outside during a lecture and i had no idea what it was because, surprise, it just sounded like louder-than-normal danish. if you don't know the language, it's hard to know what's a protest and what's just some people yelling out "hey meet ya in five minutes, love you snookums" (or whatever).
thirdly, some terrorists were arrested here yesterday/the day before. apparently it's pretty serious, although authorities aren't releasing enormous amounts of information. but it is sad because i sort of have to watch out. and i don't like suspecting something bad about people i don't know. but i live in an ethnic district, so i try to keep my wits about me.
that's some good info. that's all you get. receipts and politics.
h
p.s. here's a video showing you my apartment. it's pretty boring unless you're intensely interested in what rooms i occupy throughout the day.
so i've noticed that i'm usually so flummoxed about being in denmark that when i shop i can't just browse around looking inquisitive. i feel the need to get my shit and get out. i recently decided to start looking at my receipts, later, when i get home, to check out how i did. not that i DON'T look at prices while i'm in the store, but if i see something that looks vaguely like what i need i just kinda get it.
the results?
here's my receipt from my trip to the store today:
Smoothie 1 L 39,75
Dr. Shaer Penne 35,00
Asparges 20,00
Oatly Imad 11,00
Urtekram Olie 54,00
translation:
juice, which i needed for vitamin C because i've been sneezing lately and not eating any citrus: $7.20 !!!!
gluten free penne because it was the only kind in a nonplastic box with the smallest plastic window i saw: $6.30 !!!!
some asparagus, about three or four dinners worth: $3.60 (phew)
a tiny tiny thing of oat milk, just to try: $2.00 (fine)
olive oil, organic: $9.80 (olive oil's always expensive)
they don't drink juice here the way we americans do at breakfast, i tell you what. you don't really see orange juice in cartons. which is fine with me except for when i need to up my vitC intake.
specialty foods are definitely more expensive. it doesn't help that i'm eating my weight in carbs for no reason every day. what can i say? european bread/honey/cookies/chocolate is delicious.
also, p.s. about this, you have to pay for bags here! HA.
in arguably wildly more important news, copenhagen is a bit.. politically charged at the moment. that's funny to say because i get the feeling about 80% of danes are sitting quietly around drinking beers wondering why all this shit is going on. but at the moment there are several rather wild happenings occurring in the area.
the first and second are in regards to the youth house being torn down about six months ago. on the six-month anniversary date, there were some night riots right near my house (although i slept quietly through them)-- some windows broken in, some tear gas dispersed, some firey blockades of furniture or something.. i was invited to this riot, incidentally, by some self-proclaimed "norrepunks" (we live in norrebro) on a train. i think it got pretty violent. secondly, today, there were supposedly peaceful "protests" although everyone's calling them riots again. i don't know much about it except that we were told to be careful and also, it was really loud outside during a lecture and i had no idea what it was because, surprise, it just sounded like louder-than-normal danish. if you don't know the language, it's hard to know what's a protest and what's just some people yelling out "hey meet ya in five minutes, love you snookums" (or whatever).
thirdly, some terrorists were arrested here yesterday/the day before. apparently it's pretty serious, although authorities aren't releasing enormous amounts of information. but it is sad because i sort of have to watch out. and i don't like suspecting something bad about people i don't know. but i live in an ethnic district, so i try to keep my wits about me.
that's some good info. that's all you get. receipts and politics.
h
p.s. here's a video showing you my apartment. it's pretty boring unless you're intensely interested in what rooms i occupy throughout the day.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
life.
okay so here's some of life:
irony in my life right now: the only place i could find a belt that wasn't plastic, leather, shiny silver, sequeny, huge, ridiculous, or pricey, was a place called New Yorker. I came all the way to Denmark only to find that my pants fall down a lot and I have to buy something vaguely American.
more irony in life: the people are fit, but i saw the freakin fattest dog i've ever seen in my life. it was a miniature pinscher who had given up it's miniature status. it was now a fat pinscher with small legs and a small head. it was barely waddling. i can't even explain how fat this thing was.
successes in life: not sleeping through my morning orientation like yesterday. and, more importantly, VEGAN DANISH PASTRIES. fuck yes. fuck yes.
failures in life: groceries. i suck at groceries, the whole idea of groceries, everything about them. i bought bread with milk actually IN the title, and didn't realize it. i should have waited till my second danish class when we learned food names. i also bought marmalade and i have no idea what's in it ("sukrose" i know) but it is SO GROSS. but i refuse to waste. so i'll choke it down on thick slices of fucking milky bread. gross.
more failures in life: plastic. up until now. i was sort of going to go easy on it but then i just read an inconvenient truth and FUCK IT i'm not going to do plastic. so i'm hand washing clothes in the kitchen sink with bronners soap that comes in paper, (not to mention only using bronners plus a conditioner bar in the shower), and fuck bread after this milky stuff, i'll just eat my sandwich toppings without bread. i don't have time to make bread (or any idea how to find those ingredients) so i'll just go without. i think i'll eat mostly tomato/mushroom stacks (instead of sandwiches) and soymilk (found that! success!) and whole fruit and whatever else i can find.
observations in life: danish babies are the cutest babies in the whole world, and they know it. the looks on their faces... trust me. they know it. danish kids are the COOLEST kids in the whole world. i saw a tiny little girl with long blonde hair on the back of her moms bike, wearing skull-covered chucks-esque type high top sneakers. she must have been 5. all the kids are like that, so urban, so chic. ridiculous, but i love it.
more observations in life: copenhagen absolutely wins the Hayley award for bikes. I knew it before i came here but it's only been confirmed. you would NOT believe the bikes. they are everywhere. they are expensive, cheap, run down, shiny, fallen over, locked up, beat up, parked 40 to 10 square feet, sporty, dorky... they are everything. people ride with a dog on a leash, people ride with babies in the back with tiny helmets, people ride and hold large objects, people ride in armani suits and high heels, people ride, people ride. and yes, we (i include myself in "danish bikers" now) DO queue up like tetris pieces at lights. they have lights just for bikes!
observations in life: lights go green-yellow-red-(like in america)-but then-yellowANDred-back to green. and everyone (bikers anyway) just go on the yellow-red combo. it's like, what's the point.
observations in life: i can see how easy it could be to get caught up in the fashion/consumerism. the trendy shops, the chic clothes, the stylish people. luckily i have that guilt chromosome that prevents me from buying much. for instance i almost cried today in a yarn shop because i couldn't read the labels to find out which yarn came from animals and which didn't. so i didn't buy any. i did have to buy that belt though. oh well.
observation in life: yes, the danish people are good looking and fit. but i mean, they're not like.. so gorgeous it hurts. maybe it's just because they all have a kind of strong jaw, not like huge or anything, but they're not very.. delicate looking. they look like they can take you on. and i guess that makes them a little less pretty to me, but i mean who cares, it doesn't really matter. also, they're not, like, exclusively blonde. i mean, yeah probably 65%ish are. but it's not like you(I) stand out if you're(I'm) not. in fact, i think actually i fit in rather well. i already wear stuff that doesn't stick out too much--a lot of gray, black (although i've noticed they don't wear much blue, green, or brown, which i also wear a bit of), and i mean... i dunno i guess i just.. i don't think i stick out, that's all.
okay i don't feel like doing this anymore. but there's a real update anyway.
irony in my life right now: the only place i could find a belt that wasn't plastic, leather, shiny silver, sequeny, huge, ridiculous, or pricey, was a place called New Yorker. I came all the way to Denmark only to find that my pants fall down a lot and I have to buy something vaguely American.
more irony in life: the people are fit, but i saw the freakin fattest dog i've ever seen in my life. it was a miniature pinscher who had given up it's miniature status. it was now a fat pinscher with small legs and a small head. it was barely waddling. i can't even explain how fat this thing was.
successes in life: not sleeping through my morning orientation like yesterday. and, more importantly, VEGAN DANISH PASTRIES. fuck yes. fuck yes.
failures in life: groceries. i suck at groceries, the whole idea of groceries, everything about them. i bought bread with milk actually IN the title, and didn't realize it. i should have waited till my second danish class when we learned food names. i also bought marmalade and i have no idea what's in it ("sukrose" i know) but it is SO GROSS. but i refuse to waste. so i'll choke it down on thick slices of fucking milky bread. gross.
more failures in life: plastic. up until now. i was sort of going to go easy on it but then i just read an inconvenient truth and FUCK IT i'm not going to do plastic. so i'm hand washing clothes in the kitchen sink with bronners soap that comes in paper, (not to mention only using bronners plus a conditioner bar in the shower), and fuck bread after this milky stuff, i'll just eat my sandwich toppings without bread. i don't have time to make bread (or any idea how to find those ingredients) so i'll just go without. i think i'll eat mostly tomato/mushroom stacks (instead of sandwiches) and soymilk (found that! success!) and whole fruit and whatever else i can find.
observations in life: danish babies are the cutest babies in the whole world, and they know it. the looks on their faces... trust me. they know it. danish kids are the COOLEST kids in the whole world. i saw a tiny little girl with long blonde hair on the back of her moms bike, wearing skull-covered chucks-esque type high top sneakers. she must have been 5. all the kids are like that, so urban, so chic. ridiculous, but i love it.
more observations in life: copenhagen absolutely wins the Hayley award for bikes. I knew it before i came here but it's only been confirmed. you would NOT believe the bikes. they are everywhere. they are expensive, cheap, run down, shiny, fallen over, locked up, beat up, parked 40 to 10 square feet, sporty, dorky... they are everything. people ride with a dog on a leash, people ride with babies in the back with tiny helmets, people ride and hold large objects, people ride in armani suits and high heels, people ride, people ride. and yes, we (i include myself in "danish bikers" now) DO queue up like tetris pieces at lights. they have lights just for bikes!
observations in life: lights go green-yellow-red-(like in america)-but then-yellowANDred-back to green. and everyone (bikers anyway) just go on the yellow-red combo. it's like, what's the point.
observations in life: i can see how easy it could be to get caught up in the fashion/consumerism. the trendy shops, the chic clothes, the stylish people. luckily i have that guilt chromosome that prevents me from buying much. for instance i almost cried today in a yarn shop because i couldn't read the labels to find out which yarn came from animals and which didn't. so i didn't buy any. i did have to buy that belt though. oh well.
observation in life: yes, the danish people are good looking and fit. but i mean, they're not like.. so gorgeous it hurts. maybe it's just because they all have a kind of strong jaw, not like huge or anything, but they're not very.. delicate looking. they look like they can take you on. and i guess that makes them a little less pretty to me, but i mean who cares, it doesn't really matter. also, they're not, like, exclusively blonde. i mean, yeah probably 65%ish are. but it's not like you(I) stand out if you're(I'm) not. in fact, i think actually i fit in rather well. i already wear stuff that doesn't stick out too much--a lot of gray, black (although i've noticed they don't wear much blue, green, or brown, which i also wear a bit of), and i mean... i dunno i guess i just.. i don't think i stick out, that's all.
okay i don't feel like doing this anymore. but there's a real update anyway.
Monday, August 27, 2007
d a n i s h
sitting in my danish apartment!
on danish wireless internet that i'm picking up from some danish neighbor!
and the computer has decided i must be danish and therefore all the internet is in danish...
with my danish bike outside, on a danish street. in denmark.
which is where i am.
!
h
on danish wireless internet that i'm picking up from some danish neighbor!
and the computer has decided i must be danish and therefore all the internet is in danish...
with my danish bike outside, on a danish street. in denmark.
which is where i am.
!
h
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
more weekends, over.
i had friends from school visit this past weekend.
was fun. a little sad.
it's my last week of work.
i'm going to see Stars in Amsterdam in september. tickets ordered!
and probably Broken Social Scene in London.
and maybe Iron & Wine in Leeds.
hopefully a yoga retreat in either ireland or italy.
and some backpacking, somewhere.
listen to the following for an improved quality of life:
The Blow- Parentheses
The Blow- Fists Up
was fun. a little sad.
it's my last week of work.
i'm going to see Stars in Amsterdam in september. tickets ordered!
and probably Broken Social Scene in London.
and maybe Iron & Wine in Leeds.
hopefully a yoga retreat in either ireland or italy.
and some backpacking, somewhere.
listen to the following for an improved quality of life:
The Blow- Parentheses
The Blow- Fists Up
Sunday, July 29, 2007
the weekend, she is over.
this weekend. quite a time. we had a bit of a scare, when remy, my sister's pug (who's staying with us while she vacations in asheville) somehow managed to get herself onto my desk and eat through two bars of 70% cocoa (expensive) chocolate. what followed was hell for my poor mother who was thrown up on, like, 15 times at least. because tilly, our chihuahua, ate remy's howtoputthisnicely vomited chocolate treat--it was a mess. they both went to doggy emergency room and even though we got tilly back relatively soon because she was not that bad, poor remy was a mess and had quite a hard time of it. but in about an hour we get to go pick her up! so thank stars for that. other than that, i did a big step for denmark--sent over a package for myself when i arrive! i wish i could say it included all kinds of fun stuff, but actually it was mostly studio supplies. which isn't un-great, but, let's face it, it's not gonna be like christmas when i get there. although the package did include a box of cliff bars, so that's coolio. what else? well last night i had a bunch o' fun in a lightning storm/drizzle/etc. the night involved swinging by moonlight, being picked up and spun, a bit of tickling, some waltzing in a cornfield, a lot of contemplating how best not to die by lightning while still getting to see it, and of course just general making fun. love these parts of summer. speaking of which. two weeks of work (gotsta finish designing two playgrounds) and then two weeks of play. then hayley gets a little europe. and europe gets a lot of hayley. so that'll happen.
moral of the story: seal all chocolate in airtight, smell proof containers, put those containers in tanks of water, seal the tanks and hang them from the roof of the attic, and then burn down the attic. or, don't ever agree to take care of a pug.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
So this is new
so this thing is new. let's see how it goes. i wanted a place to link all of the cool things that i read and honestly, the xanga i had just wasn't cutting it. like for whatever xanga's even supposed to cut it for.
the main point of this is because i am going to denmark for four months and here shall be the record of my travels. i figured it's better to start fresh with that instead of having all those old entries about unrelated stuff, since the program links our blogs. so.. yeah.
the main point of this is because i am going to denmark for four months and here shall be the record of my travels. i figured it's better to start fresh with that instead of having all those old entries about unrelated stuff, since the program links our blogs. so.. yeah.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
(copying the last few posts from xanga--written last week sometime..)
university of toronto is now my tied first choice grad school with ubc!
in other news, i had a fantastic weekend involving canoeing, biking, sliding, swinging, talking, falling, jumping, playing, driving, walking, tree farms, merry-go-rounds, and baking cookies.
i think this is the unexpectedly best summer ever.
university of toronto is now my tied first choice grad school with ubc!
in other news, i had a fantastic weekend involving canoeing, biking, sliding, swinging, talking, falling, jumping, playing, driving, walking, tree farms, merry-go-rounds, and baking cookies.
i think this is the unexpectedly best summer ever.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
save teh aminals plzkthx
(originally written on xanga, like last week sometime)
okay so i have had the awesomest/weirdest dreams ever lately! last night i had a dream that me and some other nannies (my old job) were going over to this woman's house to take care of her kids and they were all baby animals!!! and i had this baby seal!!!..thing. it sort of had cute feet, which seals don't have.. it was like a cross between a baby koala (not the way they really are, which is apparently vicious and clawful, but how i want them to be: adorable and snuggly) and a baby seal, the seal's head, that is. the point is, it was all clingin to me ADORABLE-LIKE and it was pretty much the best thing ever.
i must deduce that this dream occurred on account of me lookin' at the websites of various animal liberation activist types yesterday. and signing some petitions about sea turtles, wolves, maybe seals, i don't remember. i did a few petitions. today i signed a petition for amnesty--did you know native american or alaskan women are 3 times more likely to get raped than other american women? 1 in 3 get raped at some point. isn't that awful? i don't quite understand why, and to be honest, i don't have the stomach to find out.
that's my problem with being an activist. i'm willing to sign petitions to save animals and stuff, but i can't possibly read all the info about the mistreatment. it makes me .. unable to function because it is too terrible. and it makes me hate people. so basically i find out enough to figure out what's probably the right thing to do, then i send a letter and move on. like going vegan, i think everyone needs to watch those peta videos about the mistreatment, but once you're vegan i say you're exempt. you're already doing what you can. it makes me lose faith in humanity--something i don't think i could possibly do and continue to live as i do now, i.e., within general social norms (barely).
on another note, my other dreams have been very inappropriate for general (or any) discussion lately. don't know what that's about.
grad school plans keep changing. i've been looking into some easier programs bc i'm getting very scared that i won't get in anywhere. here's the list
1. university of british columbia (please please please please)
1. a. (tied) university of toronto
2. university of washington
3. university of oregon
4. university of minnesota twin cities (apparently not a great program but high acceptance rate, thank stars)
5. university of michigan
6. university of massachusettes OR suny esf (don't really want to go to either, but hopefully they're easier)
those are MLA (masters of landscape architecture programs).
and as a back up,
7. portland state (which is a MUD - masters of urban design program)
i thought maybe i'd go for wisconsin-madison, bc it's easier since it's an MA or MS, but apparently that's not a degree even worth having in this field. too bad because that city is apparently all kindsa bikeyful. bikeyful=good city to me.
so i went camping this past weekend. i got a sweet new pack so we wanted to try it out, it was only about 20 pounds all packed bc my dad carried the food, but i didn't have any trouble with it at all so at least i feel like i COULD carry more. and there was some stiff hiking in there, straight up for a while. and we camped and i pretty much didn't sleep and then hiked back the next day.
so i think that right now i am some of the healthiest i have ever been since gymnastics. possibly even ever. it's a combination of things, but i have to say it has a lot to do with avoiding plastic. at work there are snacks but they all come in plastic, and so i just pack a lunch and suck it up till dinner. and , come on , when you go grocery shopping, just TRY to imagine not buying any plastic. it's very hard, but so much healthier! i buy vegetables sans bags (carrots spinach zucchini squash mushrooms), the mori-nu tofu that comes in a paper box, and whatever nuts/grains are available in bulk because i reuse old bags for that. plus peanut butter/oils/dressings/etc in glass bottles. it's very hard to eat crappy when you're buying like that. and don't think it's miserable--chocolate bars come in paper :D and soy frozen dessert type things are usually in cartons.
also, i get a bit of exercise. i walk two miles a day just for work, and then some nights and most weekends i either bike or hike or at least walk.
being at an office all day also helps. nothing like being AWAY from the kitchen to keep your meals balanced.
i've also been reading a lot of nutrition information lately, about vitamins and minerals and what you need based on your diet. with no supplements, i believe i do pretty frickin good. plus i've been drinking tons and tons of water.
the best part is, i'm not starving at all, i'm not miserable from dieting, i'm not overeating--i have a pretty good relationship with food i think--and even though i've lost a little weight, i really look pretty much not that different from ever else, but --this is the good part -- THAT'S OK. i'm healthy, and fitting some supermodel image is suddenly much less important than getting the nutrients i need every day. i thought that this mood was due to mike, but now that that's over, it seems to be continuing so i guess it's not an external source of approval, it's me. i desperately hope i can keep it up in denmark., where it will be more difficult to eat well, as well as the fact that apparently freakin everyone's thin. i think i can continue to be positive though. and hopefully i'll be biking a lot over there so i'll stay strong.
well this turned into a really long thing here. i guess that's because i feel that other people can benefit from these thoughts. i have friends who have eating problems, and i know there's a whole xanga community of girls TRYING to have eating problems, and i hope that maybe they can try to glimpse life outside that for a bit. also, i hope some people think about activism based on what i wrote earlier here. and what that means.
gosh look at me all wisdomy.
okay so i have had the awesomest/weirdest dreams ever lately! last night i had a dream that me and some other nannies (my old job) were going over to this woman's house to take care of her kids and they were all baby animals!!! and i had this baby seal!!!..thing. it sort of had cute feet, which seals don't have.. it was like a cross between a baby koala (not the way they really are, which is apparently vicious and clawful, but how i want them to be: adorable and snuggly) and a baby seal, the seal's head, that is. the point is, it was all clingin to me ADORABLE-LIKE and it was pretty much the best thing ever.
i must deduce that this dream occurred on account of me lookin' at the websites of various animal liberation activist types yesterday. and signing some petitions about sea turtles, wolves, maybe seals, i don't remember. i did a few petitions. today i signed a petition for amnesty--did you know native american or alaskan women are 3 times more likely to get raped than other american women? 1 in 3 get raped at some point. isn't that awful? i don't quite understand why, and to be honest, i don't have the stomach to find out.
that's my problem with being an activist. i'm willing to sign petitions to save animals and stuff, but i can't possibly read all the info about the mistreatment. it makes me .. unable to function because it is too terrible. and it makes me hate people. so basically i find out enough to figure out what's probably the right thing to do, then i send a letter and move on. like going vegan, i think everyone needs to watch those peta videos about the mistreatment, but once you're vegan i say you're exempt. you're already doing what you can. it makes me lose faith in humanity--something i don't think i could possibly do and continue to live as i do now, i.e., within general social norms (barely).
on another note, my other dreams have been very inappropriate for general (or any) discussion lately. don't know what that's about.
grad school plans keep changing. i've been looking into some easier programs bc i'm getting very scared that i won't get in anywhere. here's the list
1. university of british columbia (please please please please)
1. a. (tied) university of toronto
2. university of washington
3. university of oregon
4. university of minnesota twin cities (apparently not a great program but high acceptance rate, thank stars)
5. university of michigan
6. university of massachusettes OR suny esf (don't really want to go to either, but hopefully they're easier)
those are MLA (masters of landscape architecture programs).
and as a back up,
7. portland state (which is a MUD - masters of urban design program)
i thought maybe i'd go for wisconsin-madison, bc it's easier since it's an MA or MS, but apparently that's not a degree even worth having in this field. too bad because that city is apparently all kindsa bikeyful. bikeyful=good city to me.
so i went camping this past weekend. i got a sweet new pack so we wanted to try it out, it was only about 20 pounds all packed bc my dad carried the food, but i didn't have any trouble with it at all so at least i feel like i COULD carry more. and there was some stiff hiking in there, straight up for a while. and we camped and i pretty much didn't sleep and then hiked back the next day.
so i think that right now i am some of the healthiest i have ever been since gymnastics. possibly even ever. it's a combination of things, but i have to say it has a lot to do with avoiding plastic. at work there are snacks but they all come in plastic, and so i just pack a lunch and suck it up till dinner. and , come on , when you go grocery shopping, just TRY to imagine not buying any plastic. it's very hard, but so much healthier! i buy vegetables sans bags (carrots spinach zucchini squash mushrooms), the mori-nu tofu that comes in a paper box, and whatever nuts/grains are available in bulk because i reuse old bags for that. plus peanut butter/oils/dressings/etc in glass bottles. it's very hard to eat crappy when you're buying like that. and don't think it's miserable--chocolate bars come in paper :D and soy frozen dessert type things are usually in cartons.
also, i get a bit of exercise. i walk two miles a day just for work, and then some nights and most weekends i either bike or hike or at least walk.
being at an office all day also helps. nothing like being AWAY from the kitchen to keep your meals balanced.
i've also been reading a lot of nutrition information lately, about vitamins and minerals and what you need based on your diet. with no supplements, i believe i do pretty frickin good. plus i've been drinking tons and tons of water.
the best part is, i'm not starving at all, i'm not miserable from dieting, i'm not overeating--i have a pretty good relationship with food i think--and even though i've lost a little weight, i really look pretty much not that different from ever else, but --this is the good part -- THAT'S OK. i'm healthy, and fitting some supermodel image is suddenly much less important than getting the nutrients i need every day. i thought that this mood was due to mike, but now that that's over, it seems to be continuing so i guess it's not an external source of approval, it's me. i desperately hope i can keep it up in denmark., where it will be more difficult to eat well, as well as the fact that apparently freakin everyone's thin. i think i can continue to be positive though. and hopefully i'll be biking a lot over there so i'll stay strong.
well this turned into a really long thing here. i guess that's because i feel that other people can benefit from these thoughts. i have friends who have eating problems, and i know there's a whole xanga community of girls TRYING to have eating problems, and i hope that maybe they can try to glimpse life outside that for a bit. also, i hope some people think about activism based on what i wrote earlier here. and what that means.
gosh look at me all wisdomy.
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